Michael Palin on The Daily Show

THE DAILY SHOW Host: Craig Kilborn. Transcript of 1997 show with guest Michael Palin.

Craig: My guest tonight was a member of Monty Python and starred in such movies as A Fish Called Wanda and Fierce Creatures. He's also chronicled his extensive travels in Around the World in 80 Days, Pole To Pole, and his latest venture, the PBS series Full Circle.

[ Clip from Full Circle ]

Craig: Please welcome, Michael Palin right here! [ Cheers and applause. ] Pleased to meet you, my name is Craig.

Michael: It's, uh, embarrassing clip to show there.

Craig: Can't you edit that out or did you want that in or..?

Michael: No, I said "It should be out. It's not funny, I go on far too long," and they said, they laughed at me and said, "No, this is funny!" And I try to get it straight and it's impossible.

Craig: You have no control over it.

Michael: I don't have it. No control over it at all. [ Laughter. ]

Craig: And, so I heard, a two-hundred and forty-five day trip!

Michael: Yeah, yeah.

Craig: In this Full Circle series..

Michael: Yeah, it's quite a bit, yeah.

Craig: And then you did Fierce Creatures somewhere in there.

Michael: Uh, well, Fierce Creatures just before we started on the journey. And four days after we finished filming Fierce Creatures, I started on this year-long journey around the Pacific, and half-way through I heard that John Cleese wanted to re-shoot some of the ending of Fierce Creatures. So I came back and it was like Groundhog Day, I kept doing Fierce Creatures again. And it was really weird, because I was in the bee costume four days after I returned. Those of who have seen the movie would have known that I impersonated a bee. [ Michael acts like a bee. Laughter. ]

Craig: John Cleese can be a real pain in the neck, can't he? Making you re-shoot that ending?

Michael: It's a pain in the neck working with him, so.. [ Laughter. ]

Craig: Let's get specific on the Pacific rim.

Michael: Oh, you've got a globe here.

Craig: Tell me, thank you.

Michael: This is a nice world. [ Laughter. ]

Craig: Yeah, where is the Pacific rim, for those of us who don't know?

Michael: Well, not here, that's the Mediterranean. We go right around the other side of the earth. People in Los Angeles would know instantly, of course, because they look out on it. But, this area here, right here, you're seeing.. little nicotine stained finger.. [ Laughter. ] Uh, come down to Siberia and we want around and go through Korea and tried up through North Korea but you can't go there because, uh.. [ Laughter. ] they don't like comedians up there at all. And in China they don't much like you there either. Um, Vietnam were quite relieved to see somebody, um.. [ Laughter. ] And we sail across to the Philippines where we did some psychic surgery, that's pretty nasty. Tipped up nice across to Borneo, uh, we interviewed some head hunters there, then got the heads back and went over to Australia, down to New Zealand, then right across to Cape Horn. Am I'm boring you?

Craig: Wow. No, this is good!

Michael: Then the last four episodes are a slow journey up the Andes over there. Just get my finger over these Andes, tough..

Craig: Aahh.. [ Laughter. ]

Michael: Into the Amazon there, through Bogota, very dangerous place. I had rocks thrown at the car. We were stoned in Bogota.

Craig: There you go. [ Laughter. ] Very thorough explanation.

Michael: Then up there, through Los Angeles, Seattle, and back to the place where we started from up there.

Craig: No reason to see it now. That was very nice. [ Applause. ] Is there, uh, can you, uh, spot the, uh, the looney on there? I'm just kidding. I love that.

Michael: Well, you saw the looney on that clip. Well, we have fun, I mean, it's a travel show but it's quite comic, I mean, a lot of moments where I get, like a lot of people do when they travel, you get the language wrong, you don't understand, the words were "I love you" also means "toilet", you know, and you get embarrassed.

Craig: Mm. Always uncomfortable.

Michael: Yeah, that's right.

Craig: Are you ready for "Five Questions", Michael? [ Music. ] "Five Questions" for Michael Palin! [ Cheers and applause. ] Alright, the crowd will all love it, what is the creatively-named desert in Western Australia?

Michael: Um, the Simpson Desert.

Craig: The Great Sandy Desert.

Michael: Oh, the Great Sandy Desert! [ Buzz. ] Ah, shame!

Craig: Shame, you can say "shame".

Michael: Shame, shame.

Craig: Uh, what is groppa?

Michael: Groppa's an Italian, uh, odavy made from grape storts and it's very powerful. I love it! [ Bell. Applause. ]

Craig: Very good. Name the annoying Redgrave.

Michael: Uh, well that's a very, which one would that be, [ Laughter. ] um, Vanessa?

Craig: Vanessa! Correct. [ Bell. Applause.] You apparently find them both annoying.

Michael: Sorry, Vanessa, I've ruined your whole family.

Craig: Uh, what's the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? [ Laughter. Applause. ]

Michael: Uh, three months, two days, and one hour.

Craig: Oh, it depends if it's African or European.

Michael: Oh, that's the.. !

Craig: What are we doing on that?

Michael: I read that line!

Craig: We can't give it to you. [ Buzz. ] And finally, please why can't you just call it "soccer" like we do?

Michael: Um, because we have a football association, and uh, it has a flag, and they..

Craig: Oh, you have a flag!

Michael: Yeah!

Craig: Okay. Alright. [ Bell. Applause. ] We'll give to you. Full Circle premieres on Monday on PBS. This is your Daily Show. Big hand for Mr. Michael Palin! [ Cheers and applause. ]